We are God’s Treasured Possesion

Mirror Mirror on the wall….

What you see when you look in the mirror ?

Anxiety ?

Depression ?

Low self-worth ?

Body-hatred ?

Weight obsession ?

Thousands of woman and man have a distorted perception of their shape and size, compares her body to others, and feels shame and anxiety about their body. We are constantly bombarded with “Snow white-like” images. By presenting an ideal that is so difficult to achieve and maintain, We live in fantasy created by beauty industry.

The way we see ourselves  reflects the positive and negative experiences we’ve had with our bodies as children and adults, and our social attitudes and cultural ideals. How if almost every single hour our television programs we watch are full of irrational advertising urging that if our skin whiter, we will have it all—the perfect marriage, loving children, great sex, and a rewarding career ? How if our parents, family and society have self image disorder and inherent it to us ? We live in tyranny of beauty  that shape wrong perception about our body.

Self image can be thought of as a set of beliefs about yourself that are formed over time through a process of repetition and emotional reinforcement. These beliefs may be accurate or mistaken, rational or irrational.

Your beliefs may be irrational or mistaken if :

1. Make you weak,  depressed, anxious and hate your body. Right beliefs arise your inner strength and qualities.

2. Risk your health and exploit your money by using dangerous cosmetics, having deadly cosmetics procedures, overdosing on beauty, having an eating disorder.

3. Broke your relationships with others by critiquing other people’s physical appearance.

If those belief injure your life there’s no reason to maintain it.

Positive beliefs create positive perception of your body that strengthen your life. How to eliminate false belief  from our mind and replace it with truth ?

Let’s look in God’s mirror to find the true belief  :

What God says about you : “You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in My book. I knit you together in your mother’s womb.”

The human person is a creation of God. We were created as an object of God’s love. Every inch of the human body and every aspect of the human spirit come from God and bear witness to his handiwork.  Human dignity (value, worth) comes as a permanent and ineradicable endowment of the Creator, to every person.

What God says to you : “I am  the complete expression of love. Because I love you with an everlasting love. For you are my treasured possession. …

Hati Manusia

Seperti air mencerminkan wajah, demikianlah hati manusia mencerminkan manusia itu….

Hati adalah sumber kehidupan yang Allah bentuk di dalam diri manusia. Seperti mata air, demikian juga hati adalah sumber segala sesuatu dalam hidup kita yang akan memancar keluar. Pancaran yang paling terlihat adalah yang keluar dari mulut kita. Jika sumber mata air kita bersih, maka perkataan yang keluar pun air yang bersih. Tapi jika sumbernya kotor, maka perkataanpun akan kotor.

Hati adalah tempat tersimpannya seluruh perjalanan kehidupan kita mulai dari masa kecil sampai akhirnya manusia menutup usia. Segala sesuatu bersumber dari hati. Jika hati kita dipenuhi dengan damai sejahtera maka hidup yang terpancar pun akan dipenuhi dengan damai, optimisme dan kebaikan. Namun jika hati kita dipenuhi dengan kepahitan, kebencian, iri hati, kejahatan, dendam maka tindakan, perkataan, pemikiran kita pun akan mencerminkan itu semua.

Peristiwa yang buruk di masa lalu akan menciptakan luka dan kepahitan yang jika tidak dibereskan akan menumpuk dan menimbulkan penyakit baik fisik maupun psikis. Tidak terhitung banyaknya luka dan kepahitan yang seorang manusia simpan seumur hidupnya. Tidak satu manusiapun yang luput dari luka dan kepahitan. Penolakan dari orang tua, keluarga, teman-teman, pengalaman traumatik, pengalaman negatif di masa lampau membuat hati manusia terluka sehingga mata air itu pun menjadi pahit. Seseorang akan menjadi defensif, ofensif, pesimis, mudah terluka sehingga akan menghambat kehidupan sosialnya bahkan kehidupan spiritualnya.

Banyak manusia gagal mencapai kehidupan yang damai karena masih menyimpan luka dan kepahitan yang makin lama justru makin membesar karena bertumpuk dengan luka-luka yang baru. Berapa banyak keluarga yang berantakan, rumah tangga yang hancur, persahabatan yang retak, kehidupan spiritual yang kering karena masalah hati ini ? Diri kita sendiri adalah saksi bagaimana hati manusia sudah sedemikian terluka dan butuh pertolongan.

Banyak manusia membutuhkan pertolongan darurat untuk menyelamatkan hatinya yang terluka. Iri hati, tidak mau mengampuni, ketakutan, rasa bersalah, malu, kebencian, kepahitan, direndahkan, marah dapat menimbulkan berbagai penyakit seperti tekanan darah tinggi, sakit kepala, penyakit jantung, tukak lambung, kanker, penyakit mental, stroke, serangan jantung dan kematian. Lihatlah, betapa pentingnya hati mengambil posisi dalam kehidupan kita.

Banyak upaya yang dilakukan manusia untuk menyembuhkan luka batinnya. Ada yang berhasil, ada juga yang gagal. Namun satu hal yang pasti yang dapat dilakukan semua manusia yaitu datang kepada Sang Pencipta hati itu. Sebab:

“TUHAN itu dekat kepada orang-orang yang patah hati, dan Ia menyelamatkan orang-orang yang remuk jiwanya. Ia menyembuhkan orang-orang yang patah hati dan membalut luka-luka mereka…”

Quote about “Hati”

Quote about “Hati”

Jagalah hatimu dengan segala kewaspadaan, karena dari situlah terpancar kehidupan.

The ego epidemic: Us women have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness

Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.

We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.

Got it all: Actresses Kim Cattrall (left to right), Cynthia Nixon, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristin Davis on location for the new movie ‘Sex and the City 2′

Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance.

Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere.

Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are ’special’.

Psychology professors Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell analysed studies on 37,000 college students in 2006.

In a survey, 30 per cent of them said they believed they should get good grades simply for turning up.

NET WORTH: Facebook is a boon for those with narcissistic traits, who use the networking site for self-promotion, says a recent study

And it’s not just about how intelligent they think they are. In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship.

But the sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one.

In a recent magazine article, four women in their late 20s and 30s shared their thoughts about why they were still single. A 39-year-old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship.

A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female – independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating.

Mirror, mirror: Are woman increasingly believing that the universe revolves around them?

She pointed out that she owned a gorgeous flat with gorgeous things in it, had a nice car, was a member of a fancy gym and wore designer dresses. ‘I do what I like, when I like,’ she said.

She’d been told, and appears to believe, that she’s too successful and too well-educated for most men.

The third woman, a 30-year- old arts writer and curator, has been having too much fun to settle down.

Another, a 29-year-old, said she was too picky. She was looking for a guy who is (just) tall enough. And (just about) good-looking enough (but not too good-looking so that she’d play second fiddle).

He needs to be successful, solvent and driven. He must also be long on genuinely good jokes, with a decent sideline in bad ones that only she finds funny.

He needs to ’speak good restaurant’, to have no special dietary requirements and to always be discerning without ever being fussy.

Me, me, me: The workplace is one area where women can develop an over-inflated view of themselves

He needs to be clever without ever making her feel stupid. He needs to ‘get’ but not ‘know’ fashion…and so the list went on.

She concluded that she would rather eat wasps than share her Sunday with anyone who fails to measure up to her idea of Mr Perfect.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having high expectations. But being delusional and having a totally unrealistic blueprint are an altogether different matter.

And they often go hand in hand with acute ego-itis. As Margot Medhurt knows only too well.

She is the founder of Yours Sincerely, an Edinburgh-based personal dating and introduction agency for professionals. She has almost 30 years’ experience in the industry and has noticed a significant rise in this phenomenon in recent years.

‘It used to be that most women who joined a dating agency had a pretty good idea of where they stood in the eligibility stakes,’ she said. ‘But in the past few years, I’ve noticed that there are a significant number of women who don’t.

‘They tend to be in their 30s, and there is a wide discrepancy between how they perceive themselves and how others see them.

‘They are often very plain, but see themselves as being absolutely fabulous, exceptional people.

‘They invariably reject every guy’s profile I send them. But if a guy rejects their profile, there is all hell to pay. There is disbelief. They are really saying: “I’m so fabulous. How dare he turn me down?”

‘In the past few years, I’ve noticed a real sense of entitlement among this small group of women. The idea that a guy might not find them as amazing as they find themselves doesn’t enter their head.

‘They often become indignant and angry towards me, demanding to know why a guy dared to turn them down. Most people simply accept the facts of the dating game: some people will find you attractive and others won’t, in the same way that you’ll be drawn to some but not others.

Women today think the universe revolves around them and have a deluded sense of their abilities

‘These women, however, are unable to get their heads around the fact that the rest of the world might not share the distorted, inflated view they have of themselves.’

She said she had a eureka moment when she read a recent article about the rise in narcissism among women.

According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women.

An estimated ten per cent of the population suffers from narcissism as a full-blown personality disorder.

The symptoms include: a grandiose sense of self-importance; the belief that he or she is special or unique and in some way better – either intellectually or physically – than others; a requirement for excessive admiration; a sense of entitlement, whether to fame, fortune, success and happiness or simply to special treatment; enviousness of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her; an inability to empathise; an inability to admit a mistake; and haughty behaviour or attitude.

Food for thought: One woman said she would not share time with a man unless he was her ideal of Mr Perfect

What researchers have also identified, and are far more worried about, is what has been described as ‘normal’ narcissism – a cultural shift that has seen even non-narcissistic people seduced by the emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance and celebrity worship.

The researchers believe our culture brings out narcissistic behaviour in almost all of us.

They blame the internet (where ‘fame’ is a click away), reality television (where the lure of fame without talent is most prevalent), easy credit (which enables people to buy far beyond their ability to pay), celebrity worship, our highly consumerist, competitive and individualistic society, and a generation of indulgent parents who have raised their children to think they’re special, amazing and perfect.

According to Twenge, this focus on self-admiration has caused a cultural flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy.

We have phony rich people (who actually have massive mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (via plastic surgery), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation) and phony friends (with the social networking explosion).

TOP DOG: Narcissists are most likely to end up in leadership roles despite the fact they often don’t make good leaders, according to a U.S. survey

‘I had noticed this trend, but wasn’t really sure what it was all about,’ says Margaret Medhurt.

‘However, when I read that article and thought about the unrealistic expectations and sense of entitlement among some of the women, it really struck a chord.

‘One of the cases that brought it home to me involved a 38-year-old businesswoman.

‘I knew there were going to be problems right away. As soon as someone joins the agency, we get things moving very quickly – but this wasn’t quick enough for this woman.

‘She wanted a date immediately. The first man I sent her profile to declined an introduction and she was extremely cross. She couldn’t accept it and she couldn’t even be polite about it.

‘In three weeks, three men turned her down. I explained that it takes time to meet someone but she just got angrier and angrier. She was demanding to know why these guys did this. I was trying to get the balance right – between being honest with her and being tactful.

‘I think, ultimately, she had a very flawed perception of herself. And she almost couldn’t bear that it was being challenged. It was as if she couldn’t deal with the fact that some guys didn’t think she was amazing – and she left.’

Men, traditionally regarded as the more self-centred of the species and the rogues of the mating game, are left scratching their heads and pondering Freud’s famous question: what do women want?

David Baxter (not his real name) is a 40-year-old management consultant. Previously married for nine years, he joined a dating agency in the summer.

He says he’s not perfect, but is told he’s an eligible and pleasant guy with a lot to offer.

‘I’ve had three successive dates recently with ladies in the late 30s to early 40s age bracket that have left me dumbfounded,’ he said.

I’ve never come across such massive egos, such arrogance and lack of basic courtesy.

‘It was as if these particular dates were a forum for them to tell me how exceptional they were. One told me repeatedly how many young guys at the gym asked her out; another was very artificial.

‘You sensed that they absolutely worshipped themselves, though none of them was drop-dead gorgeous or had amazing personalities, jobs or anything else to set them apart and elevate themselves into some superior position.

‘I also thought it was quite telling that none of them had ever been married, engaged or had recently – or perhaps ever – been in a long-term relationship.

‘I got the feeling that these women were living in a Sex And The City-inspired fantasy world. I also sensed that nobody would ever be good enough for them.

‘They seem to be looking for something that doesn’t exist: Mr Perfect, or perhaps some larger-than-life, dashingly handsome and unattainable character such as that portrayed by Mr Big. Nothing else will do.’

Despite his recent experience, David still considers himself lucky.

‘I’m still positive about the whole thing, but I have friends who are not so optimistic and it’s evident that encounters with these sort of women seriously erode their self-confidence, which is a real shame. There are a lot of genuine, decent guys out there who are getting a rough deal.’

Neil Hay is a 32-year-old former professional golfer-turned-financial consultant who lives on the outskirts of Edinburgh.

After taking some time out following the death of his mother, he joined a dating agency almost a year ago.

‘It’s made me terribly cynical, not just about the way women are, but also about what on earth it is that they are looking for in a guy,’ he said.

‘Of course, we all have standards and preferences. There’s nothing wrong with that. But most of us are also realistic. We know that Cheryl Cole is out of our league.

‘I had been hoping to meet someone who was quite nice-looking, with a good personality, someone to go for dinner and to the cinema and have a decent conversation with. But I’m left feeling that this isn’t what women are looking for.

‘It’s as if they want to be swept off their feet right from the first date, as if they’re waiting for someone like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They’re not interested in a regular, normal, decent guy. That’s not good enough for them.

‘I spent three hours on a date with one woman. I thought we got on brilliantly, but then she said she didn’t want to meet again.

‘This has happened a few times. It makes me think that if you don’t live up to their perfect fantasy, then that’s it. It’s game over before you’ve even had any chance to begin to get to know each other.

‘It does dent your confidence. I’m left thinking either that there’s something wrong with me or that I’ll just never be whatever it is that these women are looking for.

‘I know there are a lot of single women who say things like they’re too independent, too feisty, too confident or too successful for men. Or they claim that men are intimidated by strong, intelligent and independent women.

‘But this is simply not the case. I think they just tell themselves this. It’s a way of rationalising things. It’s as if it’s easier for them to believe their own myths than to face reality – that they are completely ordinary.’(Lucy Taylor, dailymail.co.uk)

Fatal Big Butt Shots

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TAMPA — Online forums have a way of bringing together people with unique interests. Like knitting, for instance. Or cosmetic butt injections.

On a Topix.com forum dedicated to the quest for big, big butts, women look for “hookups” to get what they want: I need a booty asap, writes Needs Booty Bad from Brooklyn.

There’s no talk of bun-busting exercises. In thousands of posts, women say the remedy is a shot — make that, dozens of them — with an illegal silicone solution to grow their bottoms to look like J-Lo’s, round and bubbly, or hip-hop model Buffie “the body” Carruth’s, which might be called epic.

Buffie is to the butt what Pamela Anderson was once to the breast — a yardstick for “sexy,” out of reach for average women.

In a 2005 MTV interview, rapper Ludacris said Jessica Simpson was flawless except for one thing: “I would get her a bunch of little butt shots.”

Women are dying for that ideal.

• • •

Andrea Nicole Lee is 30, and she’s on dialysis at Town & Country Hospital. Her kidneys: damaged. Her lungs: damaged. Her butt — well, that’s not as important anymore.

Lee and her friend Zakiya Thema Teagle, 33, researched butt injections online, and heard through word of mouth that a Thonotosassa woman gave them.

Because the silicone solution is illegal to inject, the shots are often administered at private “pumping parties” by strangers who have no medical experience.

Sharhonda Lindsay, 32, met the women at Lee’s home on Jan. 29, Hillsborough sheriff’s deputies say. Lee paid $500 for 40 shots. Teagle paid $250 for 20.

After Lindsay left, the pain began. The women are still hospitalized with internal injuries. Teagle is stable; Lee is in serious condition.

Lee’s mother, Doretha Belnavis, has no idea why her daughter agreed to such a procedure. “She’s a beautiful girl.”

Belnavis tries not to ask her daughter too much about it — “it makes her sick to her stomach.” Her daughter is having nightmares. All Lee says is she’s sorry.

Lindsay turned herself in to deputies Wednesday, after an arrest warrant was issued. Charged with two counts of practicing medicine without a license, she paid $5,000 bail and walked out of jail an hour later.

Investigators are still trying to figure out what she injected into the two women.

• • •

It’s hard to quantify how many people are risking their lives for bigger butts. Those people are unlikely to report adverse reactions, says Siobhan DeLancey, spokeswoman for the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

In 2001, a Miami woman died after silicone was illegally injected into her breasts and butt. And in 2006, University of Texas doctors studied 44 women and transgender men who suffered from pulmonary embolism resulting from injections in different body parts. A quarter died.

“I see more disasters in the buttocks than in any other part of the body,” says Dr. Anthony Griffin, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon famous for his Brazilian butt lift.

He administers anesthesia and injects liposuctioned fat between butt muscles. He says human fat contains collagen and stem cells that help the butt keep its shape.

But his safer procedure costs $15,000 to $20,000. And he’ll only do it to women who have enough extra fat to inject into their butts.

Doctors say women desperate for cheap filler are allowing people to inject them with unknown substances that could have been purchased from other countries or even at a hardware store.

If injected haphazardly, the liquid can seep into the bloodstream and nerves.

“I’m seeing all these patients with just ridiculous amounts of stuff injected that suddenly comes to the surface of the skin,” Griffin says. “One lady from Texas — I basically had to cut it out.”

The horror stories aren’t sexy. The women on the forums read right past them. They talk of looking good in Apple Bottom jeans, designed by rapper Nelly.

And they talk of Buffie, whose backside has graced covers of magazines titled Smooth and FlyGirl, and music videos of songs titled So Seductive and Oh Yes.

“Being able to buy a new house, buy a new car — it’s all because of my butt,” Buffie said in an interview with the Times. “If I was on the other side of the fence, if I had seen another girl did all of this because she had a nice shape, nice booty … I would want a booty too.”

Buffie knows all about the shots. Women in the Atlanta club where she used to dance got them, she said. None got sick.

Still, she says it’s not worth it.

“I know I wouldn’t have risked my life to be on the cover of a magazine,” she said.

Buffie says that when women e-mail her every day for butt advice she urges exercise. But she doesn’t condemn legal plastic surgery, like butt implants.

Her own butt? She insists it’s real.

Her breasts, however …

Alexandra Zayas can be reached at azayas@sptimes.com